I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
