dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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