glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
