So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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