I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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