i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
