it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
