I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
