Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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