Where is the hickey?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
