you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
