Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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