Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
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Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So much rum. So many feels.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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