We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
even my farts smell like vagina
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
