All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
