i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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