She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
