Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
