it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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