At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
