And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
