So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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