Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
