i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
