He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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