You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
