This girl is more easily done than said...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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