On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
