Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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