You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
