lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
