I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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