As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Drunk is a universal language darling
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
