video games are the ultimate cock blocker
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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