this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
