Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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