We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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