Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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(469): View more from Texas

i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks

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(561): View more from Florida

I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date

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(802): View more from Vermont

you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk

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(802): View more from Vermont

Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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(248): View more from Michigan

about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."

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(310): View more from California

So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.

(615): View more from Tennessee

Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?

(310): View more from California

Um. We had sex on a washing machine.

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