dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
