and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
