i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
