did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
