Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I will pee on everything he values.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
