She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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