all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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