NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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