You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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