I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
