sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
A bitchslap is in order.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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