Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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