This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
