I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize