Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
