This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
