yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
