I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
