The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
