It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
