dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
