You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
