so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
